her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
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