May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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