God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
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