ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
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