Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize