it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
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Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
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