I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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