Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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