Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize