You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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