when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
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