Heybabeimwearingurpanties
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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