forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This house was built for laser tag.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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