Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
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I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
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At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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