Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize