I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
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