I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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