Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize