quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
honey bunches of taint.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
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