Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
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