You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
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Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Well supposedly when the cops came, they say I tried to get them in a conga line like Jim Carrey in The Mask. So....yea
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I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
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