I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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