Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
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