I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
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