So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
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I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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