do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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