She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
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There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
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Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
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