Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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