so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
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