Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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