I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize