I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
so I'm walking to my last final while opening my giant red bull and i look over to my right and the guy beside me had one too and was looking back at me. without missing a beat he pulls out a bottle of jager, pours half in mine, half in his and goes "cheers"....i'm not even mad i probably failed my final
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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