First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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