where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
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