Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
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The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
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Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
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