So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize