i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize