im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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