Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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