Everything about him screamed your future.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
We left the knife in your bed.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
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