I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
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Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
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