Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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