I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
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You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
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I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
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