I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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