Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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