why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
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Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
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Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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