My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
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