You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
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