dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Randomize