I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
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