Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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